Remember daydreaming about your child’s first tastes? As a Psychotherapist and mum of three, I remember anticipating the day I’d get to see my baby delighting in every new taste adventure! However, more often than not, the reality of embarking on the journey of introducing your child to the world of food is always messy, often confusing and regularly finds you questioning whether they’ll ever willingly eat a green vegetable!
I have worked with parents who have shared that they’d hoped mealtimes would be time of exploration and connection, but instead they add to the overwhelm and stress. If this resonates, you’re not alone. Little Dish commissioned omnibus research on mealtime overwhelm and discovered that 46% of parents often feel stressed about family mealtimes, from food preparations to feeding itself. As a therapist to frazzled parents, I’m here to share five ways you can enjoy calmer mealtimes.
What is mealtime overwhelm?
If mealtimes bring stress, worry, or guilt, you may be experiencing "mealtime overwhelm." According to Little Dish research, 53% of parents feel pressured to cook a hot, homemade meal and guilty when they can’t, it’s understandable that mealtime can feel emotionally charged. After a long day, low energy mean less patience for unpredictable moments—which, with young kids, is almost par for the course. This can lead to feeling tense even before dinner begins.
If you're among the 46% of parents who feel mealtime anxiety, read on for insights into why these feelings arise and practical ways to ease the tension, bringing some of that joy and connection back to the table.
Why do so many of us experience mealtime overwhelm?
A new relationship is developing!
Mealtime brings its own set of challenges—not only the logistics of cooking for a little person with a different age, appetite, and way of communicating, but also the chance to witness your child’s unique relationship with food take shape.
Just as you have relationships with people, you have relationships with other predominant elements of your life such as your work, your finances and even exercise. All conjure up feelings, memories and narratives. Consider how your own relationship with food has evolved. Have there been times food has just been functional fuel, and times you’ve enjoyed getting creative in the kitchen? Your taste evolves as you sample different foods, form new memories around the table, and visit different countries. In the same way, your child’s relationship with food is in its infancy, it’s a dance of exploration and emotion.
Mealtime activates all the senses
As a human, when you do something adventurous or new, your body’s nervous system is activated. You use extra energy to process what’s happening in and around you, assessing what feels risky and safe. For you, eating tends to be just another familiar event in your day. And because the things that feel familiar also feel safe and predictable, your nervous system is less likely to feel sensitive at mealtimes.
However, for a child, mealtimes come with a sense of newness and adventure. It can feel both exciting and anxiety provoking at the same time. It takes a child time to familiarise themselves with the textures, smells, signs and sounds of mealtimes, and as you introduce different foods, and eat in different settings, it takes time to establish that soothing feeling of predictability.
We live in a culture of information overload
With the surge of digital resources, there's an overwhelming amount of (often conflicting) advice on how to introduce your child to food. It’s understandable to feel pressure to get it “right” and worry about the impact of getting it “wrong.” I encourage you to select one or two sources of information that you can trust. Ask these two questions:
1 – Is this source of information in alignment with the British Nutrition Foundation (BNF) guidelines. Little Dish are passionate about providing you with confident, clear guidance, aligned with BNF guidelines. This is why they work with Baby and Child Nutritionist, Charlotte Stirling-Reed.
2 – Does this information echo your personal sense of what is right for you, your family and your child when it comes to mealtimes and approaches to eating?
If you feel overwhelmed or confused with information you are consuming, ask these two questions.
Five ways to tackle mealtime overwhelm
The mealtime overwhelm is real, so here are my top tips to help make the mealtime road a little smoother:
1. Take the pressure off
Mealtime overwhelm can find you focussing on each morsel eaten, each vegetable thrown on the floor. However, one of the most helpful pieces of advice for me, as a mum of three, came from Little Dish’s nutritionist, Charlotte Stirling-Reed. She encouraged me to, instead of focussing on what your child is eating (or not eating) that mealtime, consider what they’ve eaten over the whole week instead. Whilst today may have been a day where your child only accepted beige coloured food, yesterday they devoured a Little Dish Mild Chicken Tikka packed with tomato, gentle spices and coconut sauce!
Another way to take the pressure off the mealtime overwhelm, is to remember that your child’s journey with food is an evolving relationship that will change and grow just like any other. Why not have a plate in the middle of the table upon which you place any new foods? This takes the pressure off your child to feel confronted with something new, giving them a sense of control as to when and how to explore the new food. Not only does it mean their own plate feels reassuringly familiar, it provides something to control about it, touch and enjoy!
2. Make it easy for yourself
For those days you felt your feet haven’t touched the ground, someone feels below-par, or you just want more time on the sofa than hovering around the hob, make things easy for yourself. As a Psychotherapist to frazzled parents, I am a big believer of the fact that looking for ways to make family life easier is often a very valid form of self-care. Hillary Graves, the founder of Little Dish is with me! She sought to create exactly what she herself needed for her young children – fresh meals that were convenient but gloriously healthy. Little Dish and Big Dish meals are there in the moment’s you’d love someone to step in and remove some of the load. They say ‘I’ve got this’, when you need it most.
So, make it easy for yourself. Grab a Little or Big Dish and know that someone has lovingly done the time-consuming bit for you. Shrug off any unnecessary guilt and remember that parenting takes a village. Whilst you might not have a grandparent dropping round some home-cooked food to help you out, Little Dish form part of your village with their nutritious, veg-packed recipes!
3. Lower your expectations
At mealtimes, consider what you can control. You can bring nutritious food to the table, you can relieve pressure and focus off what and how much is being eaten, but you cannot control the outcome! That is in the hands of your little one.
As a therapist, I often identify that stress seems to exist in the gap between the expectation we have for an outcome, and the actual reality of the outcome itself. So, if you approach the table expecting the meal you’ve been prepared to get welcomed and finished, you are more likely to face feelings of stress when that expectation doesn’t come to fruition.
So, next time you take a seat at the table with your child, consider what your expectations might be? Perhaps you reshape them a little: ‘I expect that this mealtime will be a messy exploration of food, as it usually is. Some will get eaten; more will get dropped, but I have done my part in providing a variety of nutritious foods!’. With your expectation in this more, realistic place, you remove the pressure from the situation, and at most, you may well be surprised at the outcome!
4. Add some playtime into mealtimes
Finding ways to inject some fun into mealtimes is a great way to disperse stress. Enjoy getting playful. Put music on that relaxes you, or music they love and enjoy and can sing along to. Moving your bodies also helps soothe any feelings of intensity too, so declare a kitchen disco before or after mealtime. This also paves the way for enjoyable mealtime memories and some fresh, positive associations with the kitchen too!
5. Remember that how your child eats isn’t a reflection on your parenting
My first child ate every green vegetable before he even entertained other items on his plate. I must admit, I felt quite accomplished. That is, until I had a child who approached food in an entirely different way. Let’s just say the broccoli was more likely to end up on the floor than in his mouth. It was a powerful reminder that my child’s personal responses to different experiences was not a reflection of how good a parent I was. And it’s the same for you too. If you find yourself questioning your own abilities, pause and remember that you can only be responsible for presenting a nutritious meal and a safe, calming environment in which to eat. The more you feel responsible for the things you cannot control, the less likely you are going to seek the encouraging advice or support you need in order to navigate different parenting challenges!
Remember, mealtimes don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. By easing the pressure, finding small ways to bring joy, and letting go of expectations, you can nurture a calmer, more enjoyable experience. Parenting is a journey filled with trial and error, and mealtime is no different. Trust yourself, keep things simple where you can, fill a freezer draw with some nourishing Little Dish or Big Dish meals, and remember that, above all, you’re all learning! Here’s to less stress, more laughter, and the connection you dreamed of around the table.
Follow @annamathur on Instagram or visit www.annamathur.com
